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The heavy 2015

So, 2016 just arrived about an hour ago.

I celebrated my last day of 2015 with my family in church as usual except this twist.

He is not there.

I remember that day when I sent him off, I was pretty sure that I would have broken down if it wasn't for that will to have that power to stand strong simply because I want him to leave without any burden. I stood there and watched him leave. I couldn't move another inch because I was so afraid I would forget that I want him happy there. I was so afraid that I would accidentally shed a tear and make him feel heavy to go too.

2015 passed just like any other year. Except it was so different without him. Everywhere I went, memories of him would flood my mind. Holding back my tears I try my utmost best to find ways to curb that. I thought 'Hey, you've been through this separation bullshit. It shouldn't hurt you'. Well, pretty obviously I was wrong.

They say writing is when the heart learns to heal. It is when you reflect and make hard decisions. In my case probably, its just how it helps a person grow out of attachment.

I set myself a challenge this year.


  1. Learn to be independent.
  2. Find myself another skill that can be converted into monetary value.
  3. Keep staying in love
Now, all of these are a challenge. But the last one is the hardest because I've never done that before. 

I have learnt how to detach myself from someone who doesn't love me anymore. I have learnt to completely let go of the memories and move on with life. 

But I never learn how to stay attached to someone who is 14 hours away from me. I never learn how to keep the memories with me but still move on with life. 

Hence, that explains my situation now. :) 

2016, you are one tough challenge. But guess what? 

I am a fighter. I have always won the battle within me and managed well. 

Therefore, I am determined for success. 

Love,
Button 

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