I was out getting groceries with mum one day and we were just briefly talking about my boyfriend. The question of why my mom married my dad popped up. I just casually asked "Mum, why did you marry dad when at that point of time you had a whole life ahead of you?"
I asked that because my mom once told me about her glory old days. She was part of the Girl Guide and had her own troop. Very well reputable and was representing for a lot occasions. She told me she got an offer to go over to London for training and to further venture into Girl Guiding. But because she married dad, dad wrote her letter to decline the offer as well as to quit the association. Potentially, she could have been someone great but she chose my dad.
Now let me give you a brief introduction of my father. He grew up as a barber's son. The youngest but also the most challenged child in the family because he had many hobbies that my grandfather did not approve of like art and music. Now, my grandfather was a very typical Asian man. If it doesn't make money, then it will be a waste of money and time is money.
Now my grandfather never believed that education can change a person's future. Therefore, he never encouraged my father to further his education. He always encouraged working hard and stop thinking about the moon. With that being said, my grandfather only provided what is needed for my dad and not much on what he wanted.
When dad married mom, he was 19 and he practically had nothing. Dad started working in an MSG factory as an assistant chemist. Mom worked in a local motorcycle shop doing admin work. They we not well to do. Definitely could not afford a fancy meal at a beautiful restaurant with Frank Sinatra playing in the background. They had a very simple plate of Hokkien Mee shared by two people costing 20 sen only. They were not well to do but they managed.
Dad became a father at 21 a lot of things changed. In the process he had to move to another job to make a better living for his wife and child. Their journey was difficult but needless to say, they made it. They stopped at their forth child (me) and dad basically owns his own small company and living a half retired life while mom is a house wife.
Now back to question, why did mom choose to marry dad when all of it was of no advantage to her? She didn't get to lavish on the diamond rings, the Chanel, the Bvlgari or anything. Now I asked her and she herself could not give me a certain answer. She refused to blame it on love but I caught something in between the lines as we run along other things we chat about.
"Ruby, not all things are certain in this life. When two people are together, there are always parts that are not nice. I didn't get to travel the world but your father did everything he could to make sure we live comfortably. He may be thrifty, but he made sure we didn't have to hungry."
In contrast, modern day dating is all about certainty. We look at a person as if they are applying for a job. We want to know exactly what they can afford and how they can add value to your life based on their clothes, the accessories they use or even the words they speak of. We want an empire that is built but refuse to get in there to help build it. We want lavish dinners and gifts but somehow we lost sight of something so important. That is the person itself.
If all stripped away, the beautiful clothing, the accessories, the money and all that is left is the personality of a person, will we still see a person the same way as we did before? Which is real, the person or the decorations on the person?
I think we ought to take a step back to look at how the society is changing us. I'm not saying go date a beggar. What I am saying is, instead of being picky on a person's background and the value of a person's disposable income, why don't we start being picky on a person's personality instead? Find yourself a person that would do whatever it takes to make things happen for you.
And I am not talking about things money can buy. Money is important of course. I love money. But you should find a person who will stop for you, speed up for you, grow up for you and love every part of you. Find the person. Like how my mom and dad found each other. :)
My parents are somewhat typical asians too. They will never fully admit how much they love each other but when something does happen, they will always be there for each other to support and to do whatever they can. The challenge is to connect in the mind, two souls will come together and that is how you become inseparable. Things wont be always rainbows and sunshine, but together, you sit through the rain and start again.
I am not saying that you should now go for people who have no aim in life. I am saying before you blacklist a person in your dating list just because they don't fit your physical criteria, why don't you spend some time to get to know a person on a slightly deeper level? They may have values more valuable than money. Commitment is something money cannot fully buy.
With that being said, happy swiping right?
Love,
Button
I asked that because my mom once told me about her glory old days. She was part of the Girl Guide and had her own troop. Very well reputable and was representing for a lot occasions. She told me she got an offer to go over to London for training and to further venture into Girl Guiding. But because she married dad, dad wrote her letter to decline the offer as well as to quit the association. Potentially, she could have been someone great but she chose my dad.
Now let me give you a brief introduction of my father. He grew up as a barber's son. The youngest but also the most challenged child in the family because he had many hobbies that my grandfather did not approve of like art and music. Now, my grandfather was a very typical Asian man. If it doesn't make money, then it will be a waste of money and time is money.
Now my grandfather never believed that education can change a person's future. Therefore, he never encouraged my father to further his education. He always encouraged working hard and stop thinking about the moon. With that being said, my grandfather only provided what is needed for my dad and not much on what he wanted.
When dad married mom, he was 19 and he practically had nothing. Dad started working in an MSG factory as an assistant chemist. Mom worked in a local motorcycle shop doing admin work. They we not well to do. Definitely could not afford a fancy meal at a beautiful restaurant with Frank Sinatra playing in the background. They had a very simple plate of Hokkien Mee shared by two people costing 20 sen only. They were not well to do but they managed.
Dad became a father at 21 a lot of things changed. In the process he had to move to another job to make a better living for his wife and child. Their journey was difficult but needless to say, they made it. They stopped at their forth child (me) and dad basically owns his own small company and living a half retired life while mom is a house wife.
Now back to question, why did mom choose to marry dad when all of it was of no advantage to her? She didn't get to lavish on the diamond rings, the Chanel, the Bvlgari or anything. Now I asked her and she herself could not give me a certain answer. She refused to blame it on love but I caught something in between the lines as we run along other things we chat about.
"Ruby, not all things are certain in this life. When two people are together, there are always parts that are not nice. I didn't get to travel the world but your father did everything he could to make sure we live comfortably. He may be thrifty, but he made sure we didn't have to hungry."
In contrast, modern day dating is all about certainty. We look at a person as if they are applying for a job. We want to know exactly what they can afford and how they can add value to your life based on their clothes, the accessories they use or even the words they speak of. We want an empire that is built but refuse to get in there to help build it. We want lavish dinners and gifts but somehow we lost sight of something so important. That is the person itself.
If all stripped away, the beautiful clothing, the accessories, the money and all that is left is the personality of a person, will we still see a person the same way as we did before? Which is real, the person or the decorations on the person?
I think we ought to take a step back to look at how the society is changing us. I'm not saying go date a beggar. What I am saying is, instead of being picky on a person's background and the value of a person's disposable income, why don't we start being picky on a person's personality instead? Find yourself a person that would do whatever it takes to make things happen for you.
And I am not talking about things money can buy. Money is important of course. I love money. But you should find a person who will stop for you, speed up for you, grow up for you and love every part of you. Find the person. Like how my mom and dad found each other. :)
My parents are somewhat typical asians too. They will never fully admit how much they love each other but when something does happen, they will always be there for each other to support and to do whatever they can. The challenge is to connect in the mind, two souls will come together and that is how you become inseparable. Things wont be always rainbows and sunshine, but together, you sit through the rain and start again.
I am not saying that you should now go for people who have no aim in life. I am saying before you blacklist a person in your dating list just because they don't fit your physical criteria, why don't you spend some time to get to know a person on a slightly deeper level? They may have values more valuable than money. Commitment is something money cannot fully buy.
With that being said, happy swiping right?
Love,
Button
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