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I worry so much because lack of trust

Sunday I will be having tuition from 9am to 12om.Seriously I don't want to go.The guy that I like is serving in the same ministry and of course my best friend is serving together too.I don't know what to say but I kept on having the thought that I cannot leave them alone.You can say I don't trust neither of them.

I get so worried when I think of the Sunday that is coming.The talking together and laughing together.I don't know what to say either if they really are that close.Haiz,why did you do this to me God?I am supposed to have a good and happy life. :(

One side of me tells me that I should trust my friend and believe that she wont do this to me.The other side of me have already decided that if it really happens then I just move to another ministry because that could be the calling to the other ministry after all the nagging from my mum.Truth is,she wants me to join the AV team.I personally am interested in it too.Plus my brother,Andy is there.He is an awesome brother and also a good leader but I haven't got the calling from God to go yet.That is why I am still struggling,don't know what I want.I even quit YC because I feel so raw there.It doesn't feel like I belong there.Anyways,its not important to you readers after all,its my junction of life.

I still am worrying but I think I might just let the environment go la.I always believe that best friends will end up betraying you.Its just a matter of time.Whatever it is,I also believe that things that cannot kill me will make me stronger.Plus he is just a guy who don't dare to appreciate me because of this and that.Its because I felt that he is different that is why I let the feelings linger for a while more.I don't know what to say la,Just let God decide what he wants me to have.I cannot stop him if he wants to give me shit.

Just writing my heart out

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