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Mom I am hurt.

It really hurts me when you give up on my one and only chance of surviving in this messed up world like mine.When you can easily tell me to forget about what I have dreamt about.You can easily say it out and break a heart of a person who is already broken.It hurts me because I cannot cry any much more.

When he broke my heart,the only excuse I have to defend myself is that I could still have that one more chance of living.To achieve my dreams.The only point left for me to stay and smile.

And you can just speak of something that breaks my heart.Mom I love you,but I love myself and I have feelings too.Just because you're disappointed with me doesn't mean that you can crush my one and only last reason to survive.I know you're hurt to see me hurt like this but I cannot help it.I am scared and I don't dare to step into something that I am not ready of because I will fall right into a hole so deep till I cannot get out.

You're unhappy,disappointed and worried but for me,its just pure fear,pain and hurt.I am too broken to show it mom.I am too broken to cry it out because it hurts me just too much that I can show.You can call me a monster because I wear a mask behind all those smiles and laughter.

Please understand me.Please just give me time to recover because the scars are just too deep to recover in a day or two.I tried to be the person you expect me to be.A mature and happy girl but honestly I am not.I am gloomy,weak and unhappy.

Things just gets worst when you're already broken.Thats the reason why I dont want to take up anymore jobs.

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