My childhood crush texted me and asked me if he was the bf type.Say he is coming to KL in about July.I sure hope he continues to delay the trip because that is the only way I could restrain myself from popping his big fat lie in a bubble.The big fat lie thing actually isn't much of a big deal but maybe me compromising and not rejecting is giving him more encouragement to continue being so brave and tell me more lies.
Maybe if he was truthful with me that all he like me for now is because I am no longer a 82 kg girl,I no longer am emotional and upset of myself,no longer has a crush on him.Maybe,just maybe I wouldn't have to go through so much of what I am going through now would I? :)
I feel as if he is treating me like an idiot.It is like he thinks I am still that 12 year old girl that would melt if he tells me he loves me.As if my memory just suddenly 'bling' and I forgot what happened back then.How I wish I could just blow all my thoughts to his face right now.Except,I cant because my human brain tells me its not nice. :(
Then he just had to mention that he wants to kiss me.Seriously?Yes,I know I am a great kisser.I know he wants to kiss me because I am not fat and ugly anymore.First he just had to tell me that he loves his ex and he likes me.Now,maybe he got over his ex he is telling me loads of things.
Some part of me is telling me that I am off the game for quite a while that is why I am being this way.Some part of me tells me that clearly he isn't the one.Stop wasting time and tell him that.My brain is constantly arguing with each other.Why?Because that 6 feet about ground brain of his is telling me things that causes my 5 feet above ground brain to constantly get poisoned.
If only he could just tell me the truth and cut those sweet talk.I could at least stop being all awkward about it!ARRGH!
Goodnight :)
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