Mind Blogger

Truth was, I cried moments before I wrote this post. Honestly I was actually a little more disappointed that I already was. Not because I didn't do better than my trials but my hard work didn't pay off the way I expected. All the late nights, hard work trying to understand and the amount of hope trying to break free from the "NO STRAIGHT A" curse. No kid, I do suffer from that deadly curse. I was NEVER, I repeat. NEVER a straight A student. Over the years I had been trying hard to break free from that curse. Nevertheless, I never succeed. No matter how I try, yet I am still stuck with that curse.  I know its terrible to curse yourself this way but this is what I notice. I find myself the person who is always almost there but not there yet. I don't get it. Why? What did I miss that I cannot enjoy that moment of glory where I am excellent in everything and people get to be proud of me?  I am not saying that my parents are not proud of me. I am also not saying...

Time passes so quickly ey.. Today I stepped my foot into INTI for the first time. Listening to all the things that I have read on the internet for many many times. Just this time, my whole family was there with me. Yes, when I say whole family, I MEAN WHOLE FAMILY. Right now, I can say things are slightly different from what it was a few months back. The idea of going to college to my parents are now different. I'm not sure its because I have made my stand a little too much before or was it because God has really opened up their minds towards the idea of it. Suddenly it doesn't sound aggressive to them anymore. But no matter how, I do thank my parents for being as aggressive as they were in my memory because if they didn't I don't think I would have figured out what exactly I needed to do for myself and my future. Yes, the words she said was indeed the most difficult thing to listen to and I did cried buckets of tears to comfort myself but it was also the reason ...

Heylo pea po...... Hehe I meant people. :) So whassup gurlll? Having your greatest fun of your life? Just kidding, we all know we have our daily issues. But you know what, lets just walk right past it for once. At least for now. :P I didn't think I'd talk about this so soon because I thought I would have been more stubborn than expected. Turns out, this man/boy lowered my limit to a whole different level. Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to fall in love with him in such a way. I was expecting a little more of like a best friend relationship but on a different status. Bwahahahaha!~ I don't think anyone who knows me well would believe my bullshit. Truth was, I was moved by his unconditional heart towards me. He isn't pushy and full of support. I guess on this area he's gotten a higher mark compared to others because he's my best friend. I understand its unfair to the rest of mankind but the story just so happened to move to this episode, okay so ...

To have the ability to fit in and also the ability to be close to God is hard. Not because you don't know which is right and wrong but because the temptation for a temporary thrill is so much more bigger than the reason for His sacrifice. One moment you see yourself a star in the eyes of your peers for giving in to the temptations, another moment you find yourself on your knees pleading for forgiveness. One moment you see yourself a little closer to God, another moment you find yourself totally unworthy for all your acts. It sounds as if it is impossible to achieve a balance because you can only be at one side of the spectrum. Either the McTerrible or the McHoly. Yes, You. Only. Get. To. Pick. One. Christianity is like a drive through in Mcdonald's. The moment you turn on the engines on your car, the game is on. You make your way to the drive through and the operator asks "Hi, welcome to Mcdonald's. May I take your order for today?" and at that moment, you are g...

Update update time~  Due to the terrible haze in KL striking once again without mercy, I feel sickly. Sad to say,  I was down with headache for the whole day. Still I was a good child who went to work and diligently did my job. Okay, I admit. I feel very lazy and terrible these days.  Besides all that, I think I had a good time because he met my parents unofficially and crazy as I thought it would be, my mother farted in front of him. I suppose that is errm... a way of expressing the warmth? HAHAHAHAH okay, now it just sounds weird .  Anyways, I had a good day today I think. :) I'll blog more often okay. I'm feeling lazy these days. I'm sorry.  Love,  Button