Time passes so quickly ey.. Today I stepped my foot into INTI for the first time. Listening to all the things that I have read on the internet for many many times. Just this time, my whole family was there with me. Yes, when I say whole family, I MEAN WHOLE FAMILY.
Right now, I can say things are slightly different from what it was a few months back. The idea of going to college to my parents are now different. I'm not sure its because I have made my stand a little too much before or was it because God has really opened up their minds towards the idea of it. Suddenly it doesn't sound aggressive to them anymore.
But no matter how, I do thank my parents for being as aggressive as they were in my memory because if they didn't I don't think I would have figured out what exactly I needed to do for myself and my future. Yes, the words she said was indeed the most difficult thing to listen to and I did cried buckets of tears to comfort myself but it was also the reason I picked myself up to get back to reality instead of shooting for the stars that you can't reach.
Unlike the rest of my peers, I am not given the opportunity to waste my time with money because my parents are smart investors. They are exceptionally good with cash and the idea of using money to buy me time to think during a pre - u program is a huge step for them. I knew I wasn't ready back then to move into college so soon but the idea of going for Form 6 was just too terrifying and I couldn't bear imagining myself in it. I know I can't even with the motivations. Another issue was my peers. Everyone was moving forward except me. It made me feel as if I was less than them.
So instead of crying at home and feeling so small about myself, I got myself a job. Through that job, I was exposed to all sorts of situation. Situations where I need to speak for myself, situations where I am treated more than just an 18 year old girl. I was exposed to many types of interactions between grown ups and successful people. I was forced to understand their way of communication. It was a tough time but it made me feel more than just an 18 year old. It made me feel more than everyone.
Then the idea of reality kicks in. Questions begun to find its way for me to answer. Questions like 'Is a degree really that important?' , ' How far can you go with your degree?' , 'What kind of lifestyle do you expect yourself to be living in 10 years to come?' , ' Can your dream give you the lifestyle you want?' . I remember those were the questions that kicked right on face. You may be surprised because sometimes your dreams and your reality might clash so bad.
At the end of the day, I picked reality. You can say "Maybe you didn't want your dream enough. ". Honestly, you are right because reality can slap you so hard that you will let go of that grip you had for your dreams. Reality can kick you in a way that you will be willing to let go of that dream you had been dreaming for years. You want to know how powerful reality is? I can tell you, reality is very powerful.
Nevertheless, there are people who are able to achieve their dreams. But not everyone could do that so if you are one of the many who could, you must appreciate it. Maybe I might find my dreams through reality? That is the one thing I pray and hope everyday for God to open his door for me. :')
Keep smiling and believe God can work wonders. :)
Love,
Button
Comments
Post a Comment