Hey all,
I've been away I know but I cannot sleep so, I was thinking I could spend some time evaluating myself because at the end of the day writing really does help a person grow.
I've been dating the same guy for approximately 1 year and 2 months. I love him very much and I know I am in love with him because of the way I am feeling right now.
Loving someone is so hard. I don't deny. There's a phase where I only cared about myself. Then there's a phase where I cared so much about him and finally there's another phase where I can't bear to even stop thinking about him.
Staring at my phone every single time is bad because I am waiting and waiting for a reply. Each time I wait I am in fear because those waiting seemed so familiar. Okay forget about it. Let's just focus on the part where I don't like waiting.
Because in that duration of waiting, you feel less important and less of a priority. It hurts you very much because you know there is nothing you could have done to make things better because he really needs to do what he is doing. You try to think positive. You try to be understanding but you cannot try to feel less lonely and sad. You cannot run away from the fact that you feel very dissipated with your own mind.
Then I realised that I have given up on that one important skill I have whenever I am in love with someone. I turn into a person who could no longer keep calm. No longer strong. No longer able to stand by myself. My life is almost 100% about the person I love. My social media is like a shrine for the love I have for that person.
I spent the whole day searching for the problem with us and I realise it was not him. It was me. I forgot to bring my brain along with me. I followed whatever my heart wanted and for the record, my heart always makes the wrong choices for me.
I took a long moment to figure things out and I finally found it. I don't need new people to direct my attention to. I need myself. I need to care about myself. I am no longer attractive because I believe what he tells me. I believe in him when he says I am beautiful and I no longer make an effort to make myself beautiful to others.
That is wrong. That is so wrong and I figured it out.
I thank God for giving me a brain. My brain takes me to places my heart never expects. My brain takes me to a higher level of logic called confidence. With that, I made it to many places I never thought I could reach. My brain made me strong and independent. My brain made me attractive while my heart just makes me human. :)
I am amazing and I can be really exceptional if I want to and I have proven myself so many times. This time, I will make it too.
I've been away I know but I cannot sleep so, I was thinking I could spend some time evaluating myself because at the end of the day writing really does help a person grow.
I've been dating the same guy for approximately 1 year and 2 months. I love him very much and I know I am in love with him because of the way I am feeling right now.
Loving someone is so hard. I don't deny. There's a phase where I only cared about myself. Then there's a phase where I cared so much about him and finally there's another phase where I can't bear to even stop thinking about him.
Staring at my phone every single time is bad because I am waiting and waiting for a reply. Each time I wait I am in fear because those waiting seemed so familiar. Okay forget about it. Let's just focus on the part where I don't like waiting.
Because in that duration of waiting, you feel less important and less of a priority. It hurts you very much because you know there is nothing you could have done to make things better because he really needs to do what he is doing. You try to think positive. You try to be understanding but you cannot try to feel less lonely and sad. You cannot run away from the fact that you feel very dissipated with your own mind.
Then I realised that I have given up on that one important skill I have whenever I am in love with someone. I turn into a person who could no longer keep calm. No longer strong. No longer able to stand by myself. My life is almost 100% about the person I love. My social media is like a shrine for the love I have for that person.
I spent the whole day searching for the problem with us and I realise it was not him. It was me. I forgot to bring my brain along with me. I followed whatever my heart wanted and for the record, my heart always makes the wrong choices for me.
I took a long moment to figure things out and I finally found it. I don't need new people to direct my attention to. I need myself. I need to care about myself. I am no longer attractive because I believe what he tells me. I believe in him when he says I am beautiful and I no longer make an effort to make myself beautiful to others.
That is wrong. That is so wrong and I figured it out.
I thank God for giving me a brain. My brain takes me to places my heart never expects. My brain takes me to a higher level of logic called confidence. With that, I made it to many places I never thought I could reach. My brain made me strong and independent. My brain made me attractive while my heart just makes me human. :)
I am amazing and I can be really exceptional if I want to and I have proven myself so many times. This time, I will make it too.
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