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I'll do anything

It has been a long while since I blogged before.I guessed I was just way beyond happy these days huh? :)

I like someone and honestly I am not proud of it.He is my best friend and it will usually not be something bad but I cherish our friendship so much and I really wished I didn't like him.There are so many thoughts running in my head telling me to run away because this is really not a good sign.Every time I see him,I am happy and I casually tell him things without thinking.

In fact I didn't exactly knew that I like him because I feel so comfortable with him.I talk about him,think about him and even sing with him.The things we talk about is endless and the best part of our friendship is that he knows me even without me telling him.

Today,my friend asked him directly and he said no.I should have known that he don't feel the same way because in a way I was taking advantage of his innocence.In a way I should not have allowed that question to be raised but I did anyways and he clearly said no.Honestly,it doesn't hurt much but its a relieve because now at least I know it's just me and I can clearly leave when the time comes.

But what is it inside me right now that I still feel casually in love?I cannot explain either but I hate this part of my life where I cherish the friendship so much that I am not willing to take a risk at all.If only I could fast forward my life and skip this part.

If only you're not my best friend,I could easily just let you know how I feel and not worry about you running away.

If only you could understand this part of me and still stay being my friend.

Goodnight :)

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