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What if?

I have been a person with plans all my life.I always plan what I will be facing tomorrow.I am this huge fan of of this word called consequently.It always goes like when you don't do something.Consequently,you will not have the results.Thus,I always have plans.

The question today will be,If I am dying tomorrow how will I be spending my today?

My last relationship,I had the plan where I would go to church and get married to him because I really loved him.I had the plans where we do everything that we might not get to do in the future.(You know what I mean :PP)Yea,those were my plans.

When I broke up,I was rebellious.My plans were just to spend my time with my family and just head out there and do what I might/will never be able to do.I planned to just go all out.Flirt as much as I can or perhaps..Finally,on the last minute I will let my ex know how much I missed him.Well you get the idea.

When I have a guy best friend where I can share everything with.My plans were that I would give all my possessions to him and express how much I appreciated him.I will let him know that if he continue being shy,the ladies will all leave you out.

Right now,I like my own best friend and I don't have plans.Suddenly I don't know what I want to do.If I were to die tomorrow,I really don't know how to make today meaningful.I wont want to tell my best friend that I like him because I already know that he doesn't.I shall not waste time embarrassing myself right?I cannot marry anyone because my brain is constantly attached to him.

I don't know my plans for tomorrow.Does it mean I cannot die?Or does it just mean I should move on quickly because I cannot have plans when I am on a dead end of love.

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