Today is a very very in detail day.So I will try my very best to be in detail because this is the most meaningful day of my life in 2013.And if you know me,being meaningful is probably emotional stuff. :)
30th January 2013...
I was told to meet Ethan in the Arena the night before.He told me that he will be there till 10 pm.I went there after school hoping to see him.Together with my friends I waited and waited.Not long I hear footsteps and a similar voice.It wasn't that long ago that I have forgotten that I will hear that voice but it was very long ago since I last heard that voice.Its my ex.
I was really not sure if my instincts were telling me to run or to hide.One thing I was sure was that I locked my eyes to the ground.My brain says its curtesy to at least say hi or smile but my heart says "If you do it,you'll need a lot of time to get him out of your head."
I sat there lagged for many milliseconds till I lifted up my head to wave and smile.I was really surprise that his eyes no longer mesmerizes me.I could look him straight in the eye and smile without faking it.It was him that is looking away from me.My brain was sending so many nerve impulses of the memories I had with him around this place.From that few milliseconds,I see the whole duration of our relationship and how it ended.
He stood nearby talking to my school mate.My inner self was just shock and surprised.That guy whom I used to cry and want to die for is standing so near me and yet I felt normal.It was not that I have forgotten what happened before.I was so ready for myself to be afraid but I wasn't.
I continued my conversations with the other girls but I was very alert of the things around me.I felt like a tiger.Ready to pounce on anyone.Rawr!I still keep a few glances in contact but I felt free.So free till I can actually can fly.
He left not so soon,said his goodbye not to me but as a group.Casually I said bye as well.
My heart is finally back to me. :) It has finally sealed off with a scar.A good scar. :)
Suddenly I feel like crying because finally I have conquered my biggest fear.Finally I can stand up with my back straightened and look him in the eye and not look broken.Finally I can stop telling myself to run.Finally. :') It is supposed to be a celebration but I am crying out tears of joy. :)
30th January 2013...
I was told to meet Ethan in the Arena the night before.He told me that he will be there till 10 pm.I went there after school hoping to see him.Together with my friends I waited and waited.Not long I hear footsteps and a similar voice.It wasn't that long ago that I have forgotten that I will hear that voice but it was very long ago since I last heard that voice.Its my ex.
I was really not sure if my instincts were telling me to run or to hide.One thing I was sure was that I locked my eyes to the ground.My brain says its curtesy to at least say hi or smile but my heart says "If you do it,you'll need a lot of time to get him out of your head."
I sat there lagged for many milliseconds till I lifted up my head to wave and smile.I was really surprise that his eyes no longer mesmerizes me.I could look him straight in the eye and smile without faking it.It was him that is looking away from me.My brain was sending so many nerve impulses of the memories I had with him around this place.From that few milliseconds,I see the whole duration of our relationship and how it ended.
He stood nearby talking to my school mate.My inner self was just shock and surprised.That guy whom I used to cry and want to die for is standing so near me and yet I felt normal.It was not that I have forgotten what happened before.I was so ready for myself to be afraid but I wasn't.
I continued my conversations with the other girls but I was very alert of the things around me.I felt like a tiger.Ready to pounce on anyone.Rawr!I still keep a few glances in contact but I felt free.So free till I can actually can fly.
He left not so soon,said his goodbye not to me but as a group.Casually I said bye as well.
My heart is finally back to me. :) It has finally sealed off with a scar.A good scar. :)
Suddenly I feel like crying because finally I have conquered my biggest fear.Finally I can stand up with my back straightened and look him in the eye and not look broken.Finally I can stop telling myself to run.Finally. :') It is supposed to be a celebration but I am crying out tears of joy. :)
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