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Love or Dreams?

"How far are you willing to go?" That was what my sister asked me when I told her that I have given up my hope for medicine and is planning to go into Psychology and then Child Psychology.I remember clearly I told  her "Anywhere that allows me to fulfill my dreams even if it is India,Africa or anywhere that gives me the opportunity to go" 

I went to visit my grandfather just last week.He is really old and on the depressing note he was not well taken cared of.I was really surprised that he was moved to another nursing home.My grandfather and I probably have the least memory together.I think the only solid memory I have with him is him and I talking about olden days.So back to the nursing home.It is not dirty but it clearly is not a good place for an old man.He lives on the second floor and sits on the balcony with the rest of the elderly.Those elderly there looks like living deads.They look lonely,sad and maybe depressed.I tried talking to my grandfather but he cannot remember me anymore.Not even my name.

We spent time together just plain looking at each other.No talking because he don't even know me.I am the stranger.Soon later,I left the place and I asked my dad.My father told me a long story of how my grandfather ended up in a depressing nursing home.I was young.I had no idea what my aunts and uncles did.Apparently they were so into my grandfather's money that they moved him into another nursing home to save up the money.They apparently want the money for themselves.Bear in mind,they are in their 60s and almost 70

I was very hurt.Hearing from my own father how his own sister would rather do such a thing to her father for money.How she hurt her brother because of money.I am 17 this year.I will be graduating secondary school this year and I will be deciding on what I want to do.Just like how every child in the family has to grow up.

Will I do the exact same thing just like how my Aunts and Uncles did?Will I be like my father just sit back feeling very helpless and watch?Will I trash my parents into a nursing home and live my life?Do I still go for what I want to study in the overseas if I am given an opportunity and leave the two important person who cared for me for the first 2 decades of my life?Why am I once again stuck in between two junctions to choose between my dream and my family?

How far am I willing to go this time is not just only me.I really don't want to trash my parents in an old folks home.If those Buddhist can care for their parents until the day they die why can I?What if I change my mind in time to come?

I am so confused and worried. :( 

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