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The fear test.

For this week, it has been crazy for me. Somehow it felt like God was trying to play a joke on me. He is probably laughing his ass off watching me being miserable.. -.-

First was the car accident incident. I drove a faulty car which lead me into running over a total of 4 dividers in the driving school itself. Am I supposed to say I practically caught everyone's attention in the driving school? I think everyone probably knows me now. "The girl who ran over dividers.." Am I supposed to also mention I am taking my driving test on Tuesday? Just perfect... I do need a miracle because if the invigilator does not fail me, he must be blind. Talk more about driving on the road AFTER the licence. I probably kill someone.

This got me into thinking and I realised God was doing it on purpose maybe because he didn't want me to bribe? Or maybe he did all those just to make me a better person. Come to think of it, apart from the terrible embarrassment I got in the driving school with everyone staring at me and the car damaged, I saw many good things through this. I saw how some instructors in the driving school actually told me it was alright and don't give up, try again. I remember this one Malay instructor who told me "Jangan takut, cuba lagi! :) " and a Chinese instructor who asked me if I was alright in Mandarin. At that moment, I really wanted to cry but I am so glad my mind was able to stop myself. It was terrifying but at the same time it was very touching because instead of yelling at me and telling me that I suck, I was given the opportunity to say it myself.

I also saw how the people around me supported me even in my most miserable moments. Believe it or not, the first person who knew about my accident was not my family but my best friend. I was practically virtually crying on Whatsapp telling him how I could have killed someone. There is also this moment where he showered me with compliments to make me feel better. None other than an average girl, I shot all of them down because I was emotional. Rationality comes with a sound mind, at that moment I was none other than an average girl who needs someone to turn to.

Once my physical and emotional self came back to somewhat close to normal, I texted my family in the Wong's Corner whatsapp group. It is kind of funny so even if it kills my fingers to type, I will do it for you :P

Me : Mom, I got bad news.. :( Are you home?
Papa Wong : What happened?
Me : Please take a deep breath before you start reading...I crash the car in the driving school..
Papa Wong : We are in church.
Me : Uncle is sending me home now. The car still looks fine but it is quite damaged. :( I'm so sorry. :(
Papa Wong : Go to your sister Phoebie. Don't worry.
Me : Go to her house you mean? :O
3rd Sis : I'll come over later. You stay home... You got keys? What did Uncle say?
Papa Wong : Yes, call her first.
2nd Sis : Hmmm, I just woke up... This is interesting.
Me : Uncle just said he 'seet boon' ( losing his profit)
2nd Sis : Oh, so no claim you la. Mou si mou si... ( its alright)
3rd Sis : Hahahah what to do.. Its part of learning..
Me : :(  He never say want to claim me.. But he just say " aiya .. this time donno fix kei duo chin ah ( How much money) ...
3rd Sis : They got insurance for their cars driven by L people geh..
Papa Wong : Car is insured, but need time to repair.
Me : Then he say " people got licence also cannot bang like you..." No I didn't bang his car, I bang the stupid kancil in the driving school.
3rd Sis : Hahaha its not uncle car he bang la... Its those small little kancil.. So small also you bang... How you bang geh.. Dad, I called her already, I'll come over afterwards.
Me :  The car itself is very uncontrollable. The tires are very shaky and lose. Don't know how to explain la..When I asked he ignored me. :(
3rd sis : Hahaha All new drivers say that.. because you guys are controlled by the car.
Me : How would I know that the car will suddenly do stuns like that wan.. T.T
Brother in Law 3 : Things happened for a reason..So that you are familiar with it and will not be afraid anymore. You are experienced drive already. Passed the fear test! (Y) Go for the test on Tuesday. You can do it.
2nd Sis : Should I bake Velvet cake?
Me : -.-

People can say a million bad things to me. I will feel hurt and I will be upset but when my family supports me and encourages me, everything feels alright. I was ashamed of this accident because it makes me look like I am so incapable of doing things myself but now I am not. Every accident is a beginning of a great achievement. I may fail now, be a laughing stock to everyone in the world for being a reckless driver even before getting a licence but all of those will come to an end. I know it will and it is already coming to an end. :) My brother in law was right, I am an experienced driver already. I passed the fear test and I don't think there is anything else that I should be afraid of about driving anymore. Except, killing someone. :/ Hahah!

Love,
Button

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