Mind Blogger

Hello... I am really happy at this moment now and I really want to put this down so I can read this again much later in life when I feel less happy. From May up till now, it almost felt unreal to have my boyfriend back. It felt as if our relationship was no longer in the internet. It was real again.. We got to hold hands, watch each other during meals and have small talks here and there. I miss him as soon as he drops me off at my front gate and I'd be waiting for him to return to his home to send me a text. I am really happy. Today, I feel as if things were sort of meant to be and I really want to keep it that way. I feel like I want to be dependent and grow old with this person. I really want today to be something I can return to much later in life. Today I feel loved. I feel that I am being taken cared of. I feel very special because his love was constant. No mixed signals. It was the same. All the happiest thing that happens has to somehow come to an end. Or in this...

Hello! I am so sorry I have not blogged any sooner. I have been living by the moment and enjoying every inch of this time I have with my boyfriend. I think I never really exactly talked about how different things will be once he is home. I know it is just three months but there is A LOT of adjustments to make. For example, him being away for a whole year has made me well adapted to my environment. I enjoy going to the gym, reading my book and all. Him being suddenly around and the sudden change in gym routine, caused a lot of changes. Of course, being a foodie away from Malaysia the land of FOOD has made him an even more aggressive foodie. I tag along and I love food too. I can't be tempted all the time, I will give in! Yea, that is one aspect of him being home but I think what I love the most is him being around me. Being able to finally give him a call and have him pick up. Having to be so close to him and getting to be in his arms feeling so loved is something really I would...

I was out getting groceries with mum one day and we were just briefly talking about my boyfriend. The question of why my mom married my dad popped up. I just casually asked "Mum, why did you marry dad when at that point of time you had a whole life ahead of you?" I asked that because my mom once told me about her glory old days. She was part of the Girl Guide and had her own troop. Very well reputable and was representing for a lot occasions. She told me she got an offer to go over to London for training and to further venture into Girl Guiding. But because she married dad, dad wrote her letter to decline the offer as well as to quit the association. Potentially, she could have been someone great but she chose my dad. Now let me give you a brief introduction of my father. He grew up as a barber's son. The youngest but also the most challenged child in the family because he had many hobbies that my grandfather did not approve of like art and music. Now, my grandfather ...

Growing up just simply means you age.  People tell you to act your age. Erm, sorry what does it mean?  How do you act your age?  People have expectations on others when it comes to being capable on certain things. Like every milestone we achieve is like a label stuck unto us. So somehow if you are of a certain age and you can't perform as you should, suddenly there's something wrong with you? I find that stupid and abhorrently ignorant.  We like to relate age to intellect but things don't work that way all the time. I am sorry, just because you have a good memory and you do well in exams does not make you intelligent. It just means you have good memory thats all. Your grades does not reflect your intelligence.  I grew up not having the best grades. It was asian parent approved but my mother always expected more of me. I was not the smartest kid in class, but I was not stereotypically stupid either. But growing up, my dad will always comfort me by ...

Today the sixth person told me to venture into stand up comedy. I laughed over it because I found it amusing simply because all my jokes revolve around harsh criticism. But here's the thing, criticism always revolve around facts. Facts come from simple observation. We laugh about it because it is true and everything points right at the clown in the room. It becomes funny because everyone agrees to the fact simply being pointed out. There are also people who get offended by it because the truth pill is also very often quite hard to swallow. I mean, lets be real. Knowing that you are fat and being called fat makes a lot of difference because at the end the day, we are our own biggest critique. We are the 'Anton Ego' in our life. (Yes, I just quoted a Pixar movie.) But, hearing it from a third person somehow justifies the criticism of yourself. You realize that people also agree with your criticism. That is when you feel hurt because that is not something you like about your...

Its almost 3am in the morning and I am determined to head for the gym tomorrow with no excuses. Pretty awkward because I suddenly thought about my ex-boyfriend. You know you don't talk about someone who has done quite a lot of damage in your life because looking back at the past feels like rubbing your hand on a scar. It doesn't hurt anymore but it brings back a lot of memories. Slowly in time, you don't think about them anymore but it doesn't mean you have forgotten about them. I thought about how our relationship started and ended in such a short period of time. I thought about the mistakes that we made. The things that felt like it was meant to be at that time but didn't turn out the way we expected it to be. I thought that was love. Or rather 'we' thought it was love but in all reality we were honestly too young to wrap our head around such a big word. Love. Who were we kidding right? We thought we knew exactly everything about it. Now, lookin...

Adulthood is tough, we all know that. Sorry I hate to break it to you but I do not have any idea on how to survive adulthood. Hah! At least I got you to click it. WHO SAID I COULD NOT DO A CLICKBAIT? *Everyone?* I just turned 21 last week. Whoa I gotta say, the struggle is real. The more you notice me disappearing from blogging, it means I'm growing up. I am not emo anymore I guess? I do speak my mind here but time is definitely not allowing me to do so. I've been struggling with this growing up process and I am losing my mind trying to fit into society. Ahhhh how the world expects so much from you.. YES IT DOES! You have to have this skill, that experience, this knowledge, this intelligence and this and that. People just expect you to grow up even before you are fully grown. But I suppose right now I am old enough to say that growing up takes up a lot courage? You need to really learn to appreciate yourself and plan your future for yourself. I am glad that I have frien...