Mind Blogger

Today I woke up early to go to church for Christmas Service.Low and behold,it was really interesting. :) Believe it or not,this is my first Christmas being a Sound Crew.How cool does that sound?I mean,Sound Crew?!Heck yea! Many things happened and of course right?Its Christmas! I am starting to miss those little little details of my 2012.I was asked to help on Thanksgiving day as well.I guess 2012 is really coming to an end.I didn't kiss anyone underneath the mistletoe. T.T But it wont really matter.As long as my feelings are not hurt then everything is fine :D If God is expecting me to work hard for studies then yes I will go :) GO GO GO! :D Merry Christmas!

I can still remember exactly a year ago,everyone was freaking out about 2012 saying that it will end.It is 19-12-2012 today and I don't see anyone freaking the shit out. :) I personally do not think the world is going to end.I think there will be changes but it is not the end yet. Recently so many people asked me questions about the end of the world.Asking me if I were to die,who am I to bang first? HAHAHAHA funny question because I don't know.I used to know but now I don't know because firstly,I am not attracted to anyone while secondly,I was not planning to die. :) Another question people ask me was : Will you go back to your ex if the end was really happening? HAHAHAHA another funny question.No,I will not go back to him and to add it in,I didn't think of it much either. :) Everyone has a happy life. I guess if the end was really happening,I'll die a virgin. :) HAHAHAHAHAH! But I am serious...... If the end was really to happen,what can I do?What would...

My sweet lovely Sarah is officially 1 year old today. :D Heheheh just about exactly a year ago,I was waiting with my family in the hospital for my sister to deliver.Hearing the baby cry was probably the most touching thing for me at that moment. :) Watching Sarah grow up is probably the one miracle of never giving up for me. Happy Birthday Sweet baby :D

Its probably the day where I stuff myself with food till I cannot move no more :) That is how I spent my once in a 100 years day. :) HAHAHAHAHAHAH At least Life is still a miracle to me :D

They say that it will not occur in another 100 years.So what happened today? Today morning I woke up at 8 am.Took a bath and put on some make up.Waited for my mother to come home and went to school.Played the guitar for the Leo Christmas Carolling.Had my fingers sore for the 12 day of Christmas.I had fun but I was a little sad because I couldn't join everyone to Mid Valley for a movie.  :(  Came home and rested for the whole day.I was so weak and tired.I couldn't do anything at all.Mom woke me up in the evening and told me that we are going to pick up Sarah from nanny's place.I was too weak I couldn't get up.I woke up anyways but feeling so heavy. I don't know why but later on it didn't feel so bad. Before dinner I brought Sarah to the wind chime and she pulled it down.My dad felt really pissed at me.I wasn't mad in fact I felt sorry.Today my dad met with a swindler in PJ.I had dinner and right now sitting in front of the computer waiting for J...

I remember in camp there was this guy who told me that he likes me.I had a hard time deciding on what to say because I was attracted as well.I was attracted by what he said to me and how he treats me.But due to the differences in us,I turned him down.I had him in my mind for quite a while then soon it just disappeared.I didn't blog about this because it was not important. :) Recently,one of my friend had been telling me that he had been telling her things and she was really confused.I was feeling relieved at the same time worried of her.First is I was happy that he had moved on.Though he really did not sound like he did stop liking me in our conversations.Second was I knew that my friend's parents would not accept the differences as well.So I gave her loads of advice and and choices to make.I tried to not to pressure her as much as possible leaving her choices so that she can decide for herself. Just this Saturday,we had another talk and he was asking me about this friend o...

Today I worked really hard.I cleaned my room so well.I did all the cleaning.Inside out. There is nothing much to say but today I feel so emo.Like some part of me is emo but I cannot figure out why I am so emo.I have nothing much to blog today.Just plain pure moodiness. :( I hope for a better day tomorrow? :)

This is something I would like to share with you. :) Go check out the drama if you have time.It is a good one.It is about a girl who was elected to be the crown princess but ended up being ambushed.She died because of black magic on her.The crown prince was sad and disappointed.She didn't exactly died though but the crown prince became the king in years to come and he is a very good king.The things he do just purely impresses me. :) Go watch the drama if you have time. This video that I shared is a cover of the song by Lyn- Back in Time.JunAhnCurry did the violin cover and I love it.I hope you do too. :) This is the theme song for the drama.Trust me,I shed so much tears watching this drama. :) Scale of 1 to 10 I would give this movie an 8.Its really touching and the moral values of this drama is very dominant. I don't review a drama so well but this is good :)

I came back already. :) Hehehe trust me,it was FUNZ! The activities were great and the experiences were incredible.The people there were just amazing. :) I met so many types of people and are inspired by each one of them.One thing I don't understand about myself is that this time I did not have a camp crush.Maybe I have really grown up or I am slowly getting off mood with boys.Kekekeek I did meet very nice boys here and there.I met a sissy boy too.I even played the guitar.Can you imagine? :) That is how much I have changed this year.I cannot believe this year is about to end.Though I did not get into a relationship that I was expecting to be,but still I am a blessed and happy soul this year. :) At least,I made a few people happy. :) I think my passion right now is to make everyone happy.What I have learnt in the camp is that I don't have to be a leader to lead others.Instead I can be a leader to myself and lead myself well and submit to one leader. :) My passion right now i...

Today is just exceptionally lazy.I don't know how I end up being so lazy.I woke up,went to the market with my mom,came home slept.Woke up,took a bath then went back to sleep again.I guess this is the day that I am extremely unproductive and sleepy. :) Heheheh So today not much to blog just sleepy and deep thinking. :) Those deep thinking is not enough to be a post long but just enough to linger in my mind. :) Heheheh I guess that is all? :) Bye!

Today is probably the most stuffed and fat day of my life.I went to Seoul Garden for the first time with my family to eat.After camp,today is probably the first day of year 2012 I say I am very blessed.Truly today I find that I am very blessed.While I was eating there I was thinking of the little things each one of my family member did for me. My sister,Phoebie is the knot of the family.She brings everyone together.In spite of financial needs,she still love each one of us in the family.She would sacrifice her time and plans just to send me to places that I want to go.She is the reason that I am in Seoul Garden today.She is the God given gift to me. :) It is a lot to talk about her so lets move on. :) Debbie,my elder sister.Probably the sister whom I remember most in my childhood.Cutting my fingernails,bathing me,tying my hair and dressing me up.She is the perfect one in the family.Though I cannot remember what she has done for me in my current teenage years but I will never forget ...

Right now when I am looking at my friends,I see so many happy endings.That is the worst part because I am so jealous of their happy endings. Today as I was jogging I was thinking of my life.Reflecting upon myself and thinking of the reason I am still alive.What does God have for me in the 20-30 years to come before I meet Him face to face in heaven?I was thinking of the decisions I have made so far in my life and how it would have varied if I decided the other way.Soon I realised my results would have been the same because each time I decide between two or more things,one would have benefited while the other would have been hurt.So in a way,no matter how I regretted my past it would have still be the same just a different story but the ending would have been the same. I always believed if I cannot contribute to other's happy ending,the least I can do is not ruin other's thought of a happy ending.Since each one of us are trying to achieve a happy ending in our lives why on ...

Its so gross but its true.This is happening. :) I just came home from a jog.I met Zkay but I didn't say hi because I was jogging.Right now,my head ache is pretty bad and my fringe looks horrible. I wont write much now because things are boring today except babysitting.That is kind of awesome.I think I'll be a great house wife don't you think?I have this weird thought in my head today which I will blog about it in a while when my head stop spinning. :) For now,I'll just go take a bath. :) Bye!

This is probably the song that is pinned in my heart because that is the moment I felt the works of God in my life.I didn't get to share in camp but I am sure it doesn't matter because Jesus knows my heart.This probably is going to sound so weird to other people but God has really changed my life,vision and perspective. It is going to be a long post so bear with me. :) Life being a Christian for God is difficult.My journey was full of obstacles and pain.I fail certain subjects and I begun to lose hope in God.I see the people in church faking their relationship with God,I got more and more discouraged.Soon I came up with the conclusion that being slained is a form of peer pressure or something you might call a trend. I knew there was something really wrong with me then but I wasn't given the answers that I seek.I followed the trend just like others.Signed up as a Children's camp helper and do my duty as a Christian.I believed it is the least I can do for myself a...

Its about 5.30am in the morning and I am awake because I was so tired yesterday so I slept at 9. :)) About yesterday's deco I kinda worked hard as usual.I climbed and I nail and I poke through holes and stuff.Its crazy but I still did it.I was so tired later on I even talked on my sleep journey home. :( Malu la... My mom bought me a new battery for my phone. :) yay!Now I wont have to bring my charger everywhere I go. :) Kekekeke... I don't know but I think in a few hours I will have to go to camp.I woke up when I realised I have not completely finish packing.Haiz.. Haiz...Days like military wake up early and go to sleep late will happen soon. :) Anyways I talk to you soon okay? :)  kk bye! :D

I cannot sleep.I rolled on the bed from 3.25 am till now. Probably going to hate the day later. Soooooo.... Have you ever been on a roller coaster?Have you ever felt so scared yet you still want to take that risk?That is how I am feeling now.I don't know how to relate but that is exactly how I am feeling now.Hence,I cannot sleep. Have you ever got stuck to decide between two chairs?Don't you have the urge to sit on both of them one after another?That is exactly how I am feeling right now.I want to sit on both chairs but I am scared I fall. Have you ever run a 5 kilometer race and figure out you are the last on in the line?I feel like I am behind many things. Have you ever listen to a song over and over again and not get bored of it?That is what I am doing now. No,I am not pathetic,I just cannot sleep that is all... :)

I have so many.I don't know whether is it just me,but puberty provide me with a courage of a bull.I can remember all my crushes clearly but I always cannot remember why I like them.Like I said,puberty. So recently one guy whom I used to have a crush on during puberty got back into contact.He texted me and we talk.It wasn't so much of a big deal for me at the beginning so I didn't blog about it.Just earlier tonight,he confessed his feelings for me through a text message from Australia to Malaysia.Personally,I am not a fan of confessing feelings through text.I think its too casual and it shows no sincerity. So he told me that he likes me.When I questioned why,he came up with a story saying that he has no confident to express earlier and he wishes 1000 times infinity to turn back time and to ask me out.Personally if you ask for my opinion,I think its not true and he is just making up something to impress me.There is a story behind it but no point talking about it because i...

Today,I rocked on with my fringe to church..Yes,I am self conscious.I tied two pony tail and head out to children's ministry and saw the youth.I miss the youth actually but at the same time,I have other important things to do so I left.Which is a good idea,at least I am improving. The camp briefing today ended pretty late and it pretty much contributed more problem to second service.I mean,finally one day Button Wong has admitted that she is very blur and stupid.The piano monitors were making noise and I don't know what to do.Can you imagine having Pastor Jay to help me out then Andy coming to do it as well?For a moment I felt as if I am so stupid I can sweep the streets with my hair. :( But even with their help,the problem was not solved,so I tried to make myself feel better saying that it was a difficult thing.(but to me,as long as you can't fix it,you're still blur) The camp briefing today was also hilarious,the parents have so many questions to ask.I can underst...

I finally got my long fringe cut short. :) Its been a long time since I have my short cute japanese fringe.I still remember how difficult it was to keep it long.I had itchy eyes and I have to pin it up everyday until it grew and yet today I have it cut short again. :) Donno what to blog about but everything seems normal today.Camp is around the corner and no doubt,I am so lazy to even plan what I must pack.I have problem I guess :P I cut my hair today anticipating a good thing to happen this year. :) I hope good things happen :D KK bye :)

I just finished the Korean drama Dream High.Can you believe it?Hye Mi ended up loving Sam Dong but their little affections was not enough for the directors to finish with a greater and sweeter ending.The story ended as everyone got to achieve their dreams.What about Sam Dong and Hye Mi's dream to be together?Sam Dong dreams to be with her. I really wished in Dream High 2 it will be a sequel of the couple to be together.But as I googled it,I noticed they changed the characters.I am so heart broken.During the drama,I never thought I would come to like Sam Dong so much.I want to know more. :( Sam Dong's love for Hye Mi makes me so jealous.I really wish to have a man like that.Someone who would protect me,love me and cry because of me.I understand that Hye Mi wants him to achieve his dreams but I don't understand why it has to end this way where non of them get the happiness that Jin Gook says?.I just cannot accept it and I cannot stop thinking of it now. Haiz.. :) I shou...

I met with my ex today in church.Look,if you're ever gonna date someone in church make sure both of you aren't too involve in certain ministries.People will get to know.Even if they don't talk about it,they know.Maybe they talk about it but well,you can't say anything right?You put yourself in the limelight yourself. So,today he came over to speak to me about the photo that he had snapped last week.Say my photo isn't accepted and I have to take again.Well,knowing that I am not photogenic,I take forever to get a good picture.Anyways I still took a great photo :P (I know right,I am so cute :PP) Later,I have decided to have a heart to heart talk with him,knowing that him and I never really talked much after the break up.So we sat down to talk and reluctantly,he don't want to talk about anything.Sad right? I asked him about his life and targets in life or what but he was so reluctant to share with me. I don't know whether is it just me or what but I have ...

The holidays are about to arrive and I really cannot decide where to go.I have two options.One is I go to my eldest sister's place and hang out with her.The other will be I work in my third eldest sister's company.Both has its advantages and both is sucking the brain juice out of me. At first I thought,its money!I can earn so much of money and I can spend them like no one's business.Then later I questioned,which is more important?Family or money? Right now,this is the biggest thing I am stuck in.Family or money?One side of me wants to go and spend time with my sister and her family.Another side of me wants to spend time working my ass off and earning money. A part of me tells me that I am going to earn money in the future,why start so early?But the other side objects that money never gets old.A part of my tells me that my sister needs me.She is lonely and her family love company and friends. Where should I go now?Too many side of me is telling me what to do.I don'...

Guess what ladies? :) I passed my Add Maths!No I don't know how many marks I got to be exact because I didn't ask.When I knew I passed,I was happy enough and I don't really care anymore. :)Maybe hard work really paid off this time? :) Another thing,I am planning to get some bangs after my exams. :) Hehehe actually I cant wait :) I actually miss my bangs.Thanks to Theodore Leaf,he gave me the boldness to get some bangs.I really had a trouble deciding because I love the fact that I can pull back all my hair but I want some bangs.But he said,"Three Bobby Pins and you're good to go hon.Don't let anything hold you back from what you want." Holidays is on its way and well,I planned to make more better quality videos but I am so lazy..Maybe I should shut the channel down completely?I am not so much getting views but I love doing the videos. :P I am gonna keep it then :P I have also planned to make a notebook for my niece to write a diary.I mean children s...

So my parents have been telling me about this Malaysian couple posting their sex acts online.My mom is getting a real hoo haa about it and keeps reminding me my priorities in life.I guess it is really shameful in our asian culture?Everyone seem to be judging them. Personally,I do not think that what they are doing is out of the norm.I am pretty sure many people have seen even worst.The only difference is that they are Asians in Malaysia and we judge them.I am not racist here,I am just trying to express the point where they are doing something new that we Asians from the East don't do publicly.Hence they are getting the attention they want. Its not about what they do,its about what happens next.We cannot judge them actually because they are legally old enough to do what they want.We are judging their selflessness that brought shame to their family.It is not something to be proud of but it sure is a brave thing that they are doing. In my opinion,I am not ashamed of what th...

I really agree to this one photo.This is what you will end up if you have a crush on someone.You end up feeling in love one sided.It will hurt you once you realize that once he/she doesn't feel the same way.Please please do not do that.You can like someone but please don't fall in love too quickly. Okay advice time is over :P Check out Snow Patrol because this is amazing!!Want to do a cover of this but I am busy with exams I am sorry. :( But no worries,Holidays are coming! :D Wait on me k? :) New videos will come :)

Yo Sexy Mamas :) Hows everyone doing so far?I am not doing so well myself today but I am trying to sweep it under the carpet and tell myself its not a big deal.In about 15 minutes,its already Tuesday.So yea. Today's highlights will be that Hoong and I had the usual awkward talk and him and I laugh our asses off when it came to anything to do with sex.Yea,we horny all the time thats why we best friends. LOLOLOLO.... Secondly is OPPA GANGNAM STYLE! :D My niece danced to this song today and dang she is shoo cute. :) she shook her little cute butt while leaning on my knee.She can do the hand movement too.This little precious really really makes me very happy. :) She is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. :) Thirdly will be that today I did not go out for a jog.My niece is around and I have to babysit.Golly she laugh at almost everything.Can you imagine?You look at her she laugh,you talk to your mom she laugh.Haha cuteness overload.Believe it or not,she can sing a...

Yes I love this asian slang. :P I really wish I could use this everyday and not being judged. :) Recently I met this guy from the internet.Yes he just popped out of the screen to talk to me. :) Hehehe just kidding. :) We spent two late nights talking and by golly,it was pretty entertaining. :) This guy is not just plain cute,he is pretty interesting as well.NOPE i am not inspiring to begin a cyber love.I just rather think this guy is interesting. By the way,I have exam on this coming Friday.I am not scared and its scarry to not be scared.If you get what I mean :/

I used to love too quickly.I cross the line too quickly but now,I am going to give more time and draw the line much more visibly. :) I love you but I will take us slow so that I don't get into you too much.I love you but I still need my fair share of messing around with other friends.I cannot be the subset of you.I own this one set.You,infact can be the subset of me. ;) Love me,think of me and miss me.I know you do but I don't want to hurt myself too often.I already have many scars.I cannot trust you completely,I cannot love you to the fullest.Not because I cannot due to my history.I can and I would love to but I wont because I don't want to love too much and bleed too much. Just try to understand me.I love you as much as you do but actions speaks very much louder than words.

My day today was really bad.I cried 1 hour 15 minutes before school was over and then I will have to face more shit tomorrow.I don't know what is going to happen but seriously,today is bad enough.I hate almost everything about today except the 2 hours I spent with him. Today someone asked if I was with him.I answered that we're just friends.This honestly is such a hard thing to say because I really wished I was not asked but I had to say it anyways.I enjoyed my company with him today.As usual,I am happy for that moment just being friends and talking about almost everything. We listened to a song which I really wish that he would pay attention to the lyrics.Haiz,Except you know he wont. I am running into boys these days.Boys really like me and they care about me.Maybe this is another sign to move on.Stop liking a boy who don't even know you like him. So now,Its one step at a time.By the time I graduate,I must be able to keep in touch with him and also still be his fr...

I have been a person with plans all my life.I always plan what I will be facing tomorrow.I am this huge fan of of this word called consequently.It always goes like when you don't do something.Consequently,you will not have the results.Thus,I always have plans. The question today will be,If I am dying tomorrow how will I be spending my today? My last relationship,I had the plan where I would go to church and get married to him because I really loved him.I had the plans where we do everything that we might not get to do in the future.(You know what I mean :PP)Yea,those were my plans. When I broke up,I was rebellious.My plans were just to spend my time with my family and just head out there and do what I might/will never be able to do.I planned to just go all out.Flirt as much as I can or perhaps..Finally,on the last minute I will let my ex know how much I missed him.Well you get the idea. When I have a guy best friend where I can share everything with.My plans were that I wou...

The whole morning of my Saturday,I spent it on the bed cuddling with my pillow imagining prince charming lying next to me feeling my forehead asking if I was okay.Yea,I know I am weird.I am lack of love lately.I mean the mushy kind of love where you have someone who cares about you so much.Yeap,I am lack of that. :PP Sharp 11.55 am,Stereotypes-Hello was singing from my phone.Sister called me up for lunch.Dragged myself up from the feverish and imaginative me,I said good bye to my prince charming and yes,he was asking me to go back to bed with him but I went out to brush my teeth and start my day. Did I mention that I often talk to non moving objects?Yea,I kicked the door by accident and I yelled at it like it was going to apologize to me.Such a dumbo.. :/ Went out for lunch with my parents and I saw this really sad little girl.Probably about 6-7 years old.She was crying out so loud and first I thought she was just naughty.But later on,I overheard that she was crying because she r...

If I knew I were to fall, I will run as far as possible from you. If I knew that your thoughts were far more closer to catch me, I will run to the furthest part of earth from you. If I knew that time will bring us closer then further away from each other, I will run to stop time, Spend my every second with you, Then run for my life. If only I knew, I will never let your thoughts run into mine, I will never let myself think of you. If only I knew.

If there is one thing in my life that I hate,it will be jersey hunting.I so hate typing onto Google on the prices and then finding that they are cheap because they are not original.I hate that I like my best friend that I am typing this over and over again hoping that I will find the real thing. No I dont hate the fact that I like my best friend.In fact,I am so worried that once I get the jersey for him I will have to leave him.I like him too much to hate him. -.- Just ranting. Haiz,I still havent found the price yet and so I heard that it is 200++ for the original.I am so poor now.I am like far from 200 bucks what more the ++. I really don't want to get a cheap shit for him. :/ What if I cannot?! :(

It has been a long while since I blogged before.I guessed I was just way beyond happy these days huh? :) I like someone and honestly I am not proud of it.He is my best friend and it will usually not be something bad but I cherish our friendship so much and I really wished I didn't like him.There are so many thoughts running in my head telling me to run away because this is really not a good sign.Every time I see him,I am happy and I casually tell him things without thinking. In fact I didn't exactly knew that I like him because I feel so comfortable with him.I talk about him,think about him and even sing with him.The things we talk about is endless and the best part of our friendship is that he knows me even without me telling him. Today,my friend asked him directly and he said no.I should have known that he don't feel the same way because in a way I was taking advantage of his innocence.In a way I should not have allowed that question to be raised but I did anyways a...

Do you still remember the feeling when you were first given a phone when you were younger?Probably younger kids now will not remember but I can still remember so clearly how excited I was with a elderly Nokia mobile phone when now I don't even see them anymore.I get so excited that I text everyone including my mom,dad and sisters and ALL MY FRIENDS.I walk around with it and hold it in my hand and thinks that everyone will be so jealous of me because I have a phone.Yea,that is how I feel right now. I found something that excites me and all I want to do is talk about it. :D But you know what?Lets just stick back to the elderly Nokia phone :) I have been great if people are asking how I am.I have been happy and most of all free from troubles. :D Things have been good to me and lolololololol when you're happy,everything falls in place.So really,stay happy :D kk love you bye :D

Recently my friend just asked my why don't I have a boyfriend even when people around me have feelings for me.I have 5 reasons and hence this is it. :D I am really into studies now. This is not a lie.I am trying to get my results as good as possible so that I can get a scholarship in about a year time.I have two things I want to do.First is be a surgeon,second to be a child psychiatrist.Around this time now,I don't want to meddle with my emotions because I am an emotional person and I cannot let that happen. I have mutual feelings too but I am just so scared to admit it. I have someone that I have mutual feelings with.I like him and he likes me too but him and I are similar people.He looks forward to his studies and so do I. :D I work hard while he works harder.We're really great friends until we go into the relationship topic,I can't keep things straight because I have that impression that guys cannot be trusted completely when you're with them in th...

Positivity brings good things to life.Its true.One month ago I was still pondering about leaving the Children Ministry,YC and my friends because I thought everything in my life was falling apart.I wasn't doing so well in partly everything in church.I just thought that I was getting tired of church.My mom had mentioned about the AV department to me several times but yet I refused to join but finally I did.. :) Working in AV is something really new to me.I have not done anything of these kind and even me pressing the buttons,I shiver sometimes cuz I am really afraid some random sound is going to put me into center of attraction.Like today,I shiver when the walkie talkie started talking.Not because it was talking to me but because it wasn't.It was talking to my crew leader and being me,I have a hard time interpreting stuff and I probably would end up interpreting the wrong things. I shiver when the someone held the floor 2 microphone and wanted to talk.Even when I turned it...

Hahah no la,it didn't rain. :D I like Maroon 5 and Adam Levine is HAWT. :D Anyways,today morning I woke up with so much tears on my face.I was having a nightmare and now i can still remember what happened in the dream.I think its about a rich woman bullying me in public and I was humiliated so badly while my parents didn't do anything for me.Partly something happened and then I found out that the woman who humiliated me was my sister's mother in law.Not only did my sister not do anything,she just left me there. Something fast forwarded in my dream and I see myself in a hospital.That exact same right woman was lying on the hospital bed begging me to help her take out a tumour in her head.In that dream,I was the best neurosurgeon and I was being so mean,I told her that I will let her go to hell and she cried the exact same way that I cried when she humiliated me.Her children all begged me to save her,even my own sister begged me.Then i went to the washroom and cried my lu...

Was up whole night watching all sorts of nonsense on Youtube.Then I came across a video called '12 signs of falling in love' and I heard the song that my ex wrote for me.All these time I thought he really wrote a song for me.I thought he was so thoughtful but guess what?That song is from Avant-I want to be close Wow,not only was I cheated after we broke up.He cheated me even when we were together and I trusted him completely.Heck yes I am crying now because as the days pass I begin to find out a lot about him that I didn't see before.I thought he was true to me.I really thought so.. I was so stupid.So stupid to trust him that little bit.Now that I know,I am starting to hate myself even much more because of falling in love with him.I hate myself for believing in him that it was our song.I hate myself for taking so long to move on from him. If it wasn't me staying up tonight and bumping into that song.I would have still thought that he was once true to me.Seriously,...

Tomorrow,I am going to have self control.I will not sit next to my best friend.I will sit next to my brother of a code.I will do that.I will not look at him on purpose and I will not call his name for no reason.I will keep my topics to the most general and I will be funny tomorrow.I will not Not NOt NOT mention that he is my best friends.I WILL NEVER unless he admits that I am his best friend.Then maybe I would mention it again... :P My world is complicated,difficult and miserable.I WILL NOT LET ANY OF THESE HAPPEN TOMORROW. :) Hehehehehe..... Ps: I will say yes to someone before I open my mouth again for anything... :) I PROMISE!

 Anyone believes in happily ever after?I do.That is also a secret. :P I stopped talking about it because my dream happily ever after failed me before and ever since then,I dont talk about it.I don't mention it but I secretly believe it. Secretly,I am very asian because I AM ASIAN. :P I believe that marrying one man takes up a lot of courage and also a lot of responsibility.Marrying a man is also till death will us part.So marriage is not happy sex first then baby responsibility later.I believe that to marry a man,he has to be ready for the challenge of sex and children.I believe children are very important aspects of my life.If I were to marry a man,he must be ready to have children with me. (If you know me really well,I have a lot of theory of life which I don't talk about because it scares people)If he isn't ready,I would give him time to get ready but if he will never be ready and I am getting old then Knock knock,I wont be there. :) I don't believe in the ty...

Friday oh Friday! :D Such a God blessed day.I woke up and all feels so well. :) I slept at about 2.45am yesterday.I was skyping with Jet whole night. :/ We started to skype from 10pm and we finished by 2.45am.Hehe,he may be an asshole sometimes but him and I really have a lot to talk about. :) Not to mention,I am really outgoing :P We talked about Hoong.OMG.... -.- Dear God,Why?!He told me to give him a chance.The problem is,he didnt ask me...HOW TO GIVE?!Yea yea yea,says everyone that thinks we're together.Thing is we're not.Plus I need straight A's for SPM in order to get a scholarship.What if I screw up? :( I am embarrassed also because Jet pointed out that Hoong never agreed that we're best friends.. :( But you know what?Probably Jet just wants to give me an emotional roller coaster.He is always like that. :/ But the problem is,he really got the point. Anyways,perhaps I should stop mentioning the best friend thing or I should just quit hanging around him....

Secretly,I really really like you.My thoughts are controlled by my brain and every time I see you I feel so happy.I forgot about all your imperfections and I am really smiling.That is how much of an impact you do to me. The medulla oblongata is supposed to control me without me knowing about it.But when I see you,I just know that my medulla oblongata isn't controlling me at all.I run out of words to say but I only know your name.That is why I kept on calling your name.I would try to stop doing that but I am just so happy to see you till sometimes I forgot the reason why I called your name. I am not lying but you make me feel so comfortable till sometimes I really forgot that I am Button Wong because Button Wong was never comfortable.She only acts normal...You make me feel like myself. :) Awww.... :) I cant say anything else just that. :) That is my secret :P

Seriously I believe that Jesus is really there in my life.If he wasn't,most probably I would have died.As many of  you know,my mom and I met and accident just last Saturday.My mom hurt her neck muscle and I hit my head.No big injuries and my mom and I are still normal and talking. What happened was,my mom was sending me to tuition and we hit a CRV.It was a chain accident and when the crash happened my mom could not breathe.She was in shock and no matter how scared I was at that time I have to hold it together and calm my mom down.Soon the victims of the other cars came out and start snapping photos.I would walk out but seeing my mom hurt,I couldn't leave her. Those people,being as thoughtless as they can be knocked on the window and ask for everything that I cannot offer to them and finally they just drove off and left me alone to do all the calling and talking.I called my dad to tell him about what happened,then once more to let him know that I am calling the ambulance. ...

Today is truly a God blessed day.I woke up in the morning much more better than before.Realising it is Wednesday and by golly,"I HAVE TUITION TODAY!!"I yelped to myself and with all my sorrowful eyes I prayed and wished that Dad would not realise BUT...my mom just had to remind him "Oi,you got tuition today right?Ivy just texted me.." and I was like -.- With my face and my condition of want to vomit so badly HOW CAN I GO?!I only know I look like a panda.. Then later,at about 3pm.Hoong texted me asking me whether I could come today.I really didnt want to come.My father had to drag me out of the house and I didnt want to let Hoong see me also but then since I miss my friend so much..Even if ugly also I have to see... :P True enough,Hoong was such a nice friend.Not only he sat with an ugly panda but he also sat with the girl who has hit her head and has mild amnesia.He sat with me,talked to me and also laugh with me.Secretly,I want to cry..  :') If i was not ...

I have not been jogging for about 3 days..I feel fat but I cannot help it because even bending down to get something,the back of my head hurts..I have not been to school for two days and I have never wanted to go to school so badly...I miss Von Ah,Kelly,Andrea,Co Cole and Pau pau...(My classmates...) I wonder do they miss me? The one I miss most is Nazierah.I haven't spoken to her for so many days. Haiz... -.- The other sad part is that I have tuition tomorrow and I really don't want to go because Hoong  is going to be there.. :'( How am I going to go there with my ugly face like a lion/monkey/elephant?I want to see him but I don't want him to see my ugly face. :( I may not be pretty but I definitely don't want to be ugly. How??Hoong is going to be scared of me and probably I am going to cry my lungs out because I am so ugly..I don't want to go.... :'( Now,I am starting to blame myself for hitting my head. :( WHAI OH WHAAAI!!! :(

My body is all over and way too sore because yesterday I became a stunt man :D I did activities like rock climbing,flying fox and paintball shooting.Not to mention I did the most and the biggest activity called baby sitting :D If you seen me today,you would be all over and crazy hearing me talk about me being gung ho. :D I climbed the wall by stepping at the rocks at also yelling at myself and telling me that  "I CAN DO THIS" Also,without the help of Nick,I wouldnt have done that too but I am good at this :D You cant deny :P You have to agree! :D But came today,my whole body was so sore and tired.All I want to do is just lie on the floor and close my eyes.So many times I sneaked into my own 5 year old class and lie there like a corpse.Not to mention I can see that he kept on staring at me :D Honestly,his shy personality never fails to attract me. :) So cute and innocent.Not to also mention,he has a hot body now. :) Me so Jelly and attracted to stare at it too. :P kekek...

I met with my childhood crush just last Sunday.I could recognize him just by first glance because I used to look at his face more than I look at the mirror myself.We greeted each other and gave each other a hug.If it was before and getting a hug from him would be a big deal.In fact now I feel that he is rather TOO TALL.Nothing has changed in him but its just that I don't see the attraction like I used to. So being the single and hard to get girl that I have practiced to be I walked away really quick.Kinda like making up an excuse kinda thing?Then I came to ask myself,What was I looking at before? Not to say he isn't attractive.Its just that I just don't understand what i was looking at.I cannot even remember what was the biggest attraction I have on him before.I don't even understand what is so much of a big deal about him when right now all I see is just a tall guy from Australia. Dang,so it was true ei that what you see isnt what you see... :/

I went to the baby clinic with my sister today for Sarah's jab.I don't know why,but I am always inspired in places with many babies.I met a two babies.One named Gladice and the other named Nicholas.Gladice is older than Sarah by a few days. :) I saw them two bond. :) So adorable and lovely. Then later on I met a man at about 5 feet 6 or 7 perhap lining up to get a number.He seemed to be a really busy man.He made a few phone calls then later on my sister started talking to him.I was shock to find that he really has a very weird sense of humour.After a while,I learnt how to enjoy it. :) I can tell you,if that man wasn't married i would have the biggest crush on him. :P I saw his son and I can also tell that in future that little boy is going to really outgoing and happy. :) That is the kind of person that I think I have been looking for I think?I found an example. :) A family guy. Today,I am also very much inspired to really be a great doctor and to save lives. :) If yo...

Beginning of last year I told myself that I want to grow up and have a really sweet family.End of last year I ripped off that idea from my head because I thought I was so stupid I probably don't deserve it. Today I looked at one of my seniors profile.Seeing her being in such a sweet relationship with her person.I feel so jealous. :) Honestly I am. :D Seeing how both of them could be so happy smiling to cameras and sharing their happiness with the world,isn't it such a happy thing? Now I am questioning myself.Where is my happy ending?Where is my happy and sweet relationship with my person?Where is the happily smiling to the cameras and sharing my happiness with the world?Where is my happy and contented heart? Bah..Where did all those guys of my type go? I am still waiting for my happy ending. :) kekekekek

Take a look at this and drool over her because she is mine. :D Have been wearing it over a week though and I have to say,it is way cooler than 10 bucks pasar malam watch.But how can you compare an Ice Watch with pasar malam watch?Might as well compare a teacup poodle with a stray. This watch is a gift from my sister.You would be wondering,"How many sisters and which one la?". Its my second eldest sister.You wouldn't hear much of her because I don't talk much about her too.My other sisters tells me that we are too similar that is why we don't talk.There cannot be two lions living in the same territory right?Maybe? Anyways,my sister bought me this because I kinda did well for my PMR.Alright,if we're talking about PMR then honestly it would piss me off so let's skip it :D Heh heh you will be wondering again "PMR has passed for such a long time and now you're wearing it?" Well,sister is busy and I don't see her that often and even if...

Today I have got my new shoes and yes,it is gaudy and I am so happy because I can finally run without getting my feet sore. :) If you're the one in a million girl who gets happy over a pair of shoes then maybe you're gonna be happy with me.Even if you aren't.You still should be happy with me :D Other than that,I just gave 43 bucks of my money for my mom's Mother's Day gift.True fact that,I kinda feel sad because 43 bucks just went into a bottle of make up remover from The Body Shop.But oh well,compared to a pair of shoes I shall not complain further shall I? :D Though it was a little bit tight because my mom had a budget for my pair of shoes.Was pretty upset in the beginning though but well,I guess discipline is what I need now I guess?The little rebellion me had been really rebellion lately.I fight with her almost all the time.Its either I choose to not lose to the fight and I rebel.What can a 16 year old do when she has nothing but a lot of anger?...

Just like colours I have my favourite baby too :) This is Sarah,my niece and she is the best I have ever had. :) Everything that she does makes me happy ;)

These days I feel miserable.Maybe its because I got to know that my ex is in a relationship again and I am not.I feel like I am rushing so much into looking for a partner till i forgot the main reason I need a person.Again,peer pressure. :D Anyways,schools is the place where rumours all spreads.It is a place where bad and good rumours spread like the speed of light. I was so miserable till i even want to take advantage of a good friend who has feelings for me.I have ideas that I want to ruin his life but good thing Von saved me. :) I still feel like doing it but well I understand the meaning of 'being a good person'.Haiz :D School is a bad place for reality check.It makes you realise that people are having happy lives and you're not. :/ LOL Hheheehh!

HAHAHA I cared before and now I dont even plan to care. :) You can be who you want to be and its my deal to live my life.I might have been so stupid before but people can never be stupid forever can they? :) Today is just about me no care and me feel lonely.THATS ALL :D

Hehe,its been a long time but It doesnt mean i dont do a cover.It means I do a better cover :D

I really really really miss you and I have nothing else to say other than that :) I miss making videos :)

Pubic Hair Club?This caught me laughing so hard!! :D HAHAHAH FUNNY!!!I can't believe they have those awkward clubs in the west. :) LOL!! This is just pure funny! :D I don't know why but I find it so fascinating watching him scream :D

Its just pretty stressed up. :) so a picture for happiness ;) Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Today I watched a chinese drama with my mom during the afternoon and I came to this little part where this boy likes a girl 2 years older than him.He seems so shy and happy whenever he sees her. :) I don't know why,but I feel so happy seeing him being brave to ask the girl. Personally to me,for a person to tell the girl/boy that he/she like is a really brave thing.It must have took him/her a long time and a lot of courage to even say it.So as the person who is being told,we shouldn't hurt their feelings.Don't hurt them,make them understand their bravery is appreciated but just not the right time. :) I think this would be the best for both if you don't feel the same way. :) Not saying you accept everyone when they tell you but understand this,no point trying to hurt a person who tried.As least he/she gave it a shot to let you know and of course he/she is expecting it to go well so don't crush their courage even if you don't feel the same way.

Today Physics was a disaster.Probably me being able to write this post is because I already cried my lungs out during the afternoon. :)  How sweet right? There is also another thing!I kept on having weird taste on my mouth.How ironic...I kept on having ideas of having tonsil stones.You would feel awkward too if you were to see me taking a torchlight shining into my mouth.Its just gross.. That's just practically my life today?Its just about exams and tears and fears.Haiz....

Today is indeed such a tiring day.Okay,I admit now,I am a last minute person.I study last minute and I die after the exam weeks. Today I died. :) I didn't plan to go to church because I knew my duties is excused this week to teach History.I planned to just die studying at home.But my mom managed to nag me off the bed.I was crying in the car because I was so worried I cannot study in church. I went for the main service and I was so disgustingly doing my maths in the sanctuary then later went to mamak to continue. Yes,I have not gone to my main topic yet.I saw him today after all the nuisance I did after drinking a cup of ice coffee in the mamak stall.I saw him after my worship session.Life is just tough for me.But good thing for me,I walk pass all the loopholes of acting perfectly normal. :) Claps for me!!~~ I know its really bad to act perfectly fine when you're not but I have no choice.I cannot be unhappy forever.Its true,it takes time for everything to get better.I be...

It really hurts me when you give up on my one and only chance of surviving in this messed up world like mine.When you can easily tell me to forget about what I have dreamt about.You can easily say it out and break a heart of a person who is already broken.It hurts me because I cannot cry any much more. When he broke my heart,the only excuse I have to defend myself is that I could still have that one more chance of living.To achieve my dreams.The only point left for me to stay and smile. And you can just speak of something that breaks my heart.Mom I love you,but I love myself and I have feelings too.Just because you're disappointed with me doesn't mean that you can crush my one and only last reason to survive.I know you're hurt to see me hurt like this but I cannot help it.I am scared and I don't dare to step into something that I am not ready of because I will fall right into a hole so deep till I cannot get out. You're unhappy,disappointed and worried but for...

This is Chee Kin.My friend who used to go to La Salle but moved away to Cheras.LOOK OH LOOK! This one another closer one,Yea,he is always naked on skype.Don't ask why because I don't know either.. KIN! :D HEHEHEHEH this is what you get for being naked on cam for me.I post for the world to see :P

Just today my mom and I were having pleasant chats together in the car while driving back home.My mom and I were never friends to talk about boys.Though it is my favourite topic but it was never discussed with her. Today,she asked me one question that I always knew she would ask me.What type of guy do you like? I expected but i never thought so quick.Guessed what I replied? "Mum,I had expectations before but i lost it after I realised no one is perfect" Our conversation pretty much ended because I said it in a pathetic manner?She didn't ask more either because the last time she asked me about getting married in my twenties I gave her my whole reality logic.She got pretty worried and mad in a way.I understand why my mom ask me this way and I will try to balance it for her. When I was 5,I thought having someone that I could spend my time with was love.I thought the play dates I have can make it to reality.My first heartbreak when my childhood friend told me that he lov...

Sunday I will be having tuition from 9am to 12om.Seriously I don't want to go.The guy that I like is serving in the same ministry and of course my best friend is serving together too.I don't know what to say but I kept on having the thought that I cannot leave them alone.You can say I don't trust neither of them. I get so worried when I think of the Sunday that is coming.The talking together and laughing together.I don't know what to say either if they really are that close.Haiz,why did you do this to me God?I am supposed to have a good and happy life. :( One side of me tells me that I should trust my friend and believe that she wont do this to me.The other side of me have already decided that if it really happens then I just move to another ministry because that could be the calling to the other ministry after all the nagging from my mum.Truth is,she wants me to join the AV team.I personally am interested in it too.Plus my brother,Andy is there.He is an awesome ...

No doubt,it was dead tiring sitting on the floor together with other ladies.The saddest part is that I wasn't wearing shorts and I couldn't sit comfortably.If you can imagine sitting so politely with your leg coiled you would understand the misery I was in. :( Anyways,I felt so cursed by the teachers today.Say we're going to fail our Moral for first term.I get it,its not easy.Its pretty tough because we have to memorize all the nilai and the key words.Honestly,there is no need to say that.If you could imagine your tuition teacher cursing that you're going to fail your add math and then your school teachers that you're going to fail Moral you would feel as bad and scared like me too. Who wants to fail?Seriously,if there was a way to cure cancer of course everyone would grasp it.Who wants to die?Likewise,who would like to fail their exams?No one would love to fail and go "HURRAY I FAILED!" Haiz,I guessed I am just freaking out for March test? Another t...

Mistakes are not always bad for us humans.Sometimes certain obstacles in your life makes you a better person.What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.Like a flu,you will get stronger everytime you get better.The best part is,it doesn't kill you.Just sneeze like no one gets how :) This song is a good example :) Live to it.Its rare you get a song with a meaningful song.

Are you feeling unhappy?Had someone who was really sarcastic to you?You feel that he/she dislikes you? First things first,why do you bother?Why do you even care if he/she likes you or not?You do not live to please him/her so why care?Even if he/she is important to you,why let him/her be the influence of your life?It is your life,you should be able to influence yourself. :) This is for those who dislikes you.Tell them,I AM ME.YOU GOT A PROBLEM?? Give them the troll face: )